5 Reasons to Talk to Your Teen About Porn

REASON #1: It is psychologically traumatizing and thus is associated with several forms of diagnosed mental disorders. When a teen stops viewing porn and is in Counseling the following symptoms could potentially be alleviated.

Please do not misunderstand this section. The equation I’m proposing is that these diagnoses can be symptoms of an underlying porn addiction, but that not every person with a mental health diagnosis is a porn addict. Below are some of the diagnosis which may be covering a [porn] addiction.

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • ADD/ADHD
  • OCD
  • Eating Disorder
  • PTSD/Flashbacks

REASON #2: Not talking about porn leaves the teen more susceptible to becoming addicted to it.

Secrecy is the primary source of nourishment for any parasitic addiction to thrive. Avoidance of approaching this topic feeds the secrecy through decreasing personal accountability. Thus by not talking about it, you may be inadvertently strengthening the landscape for becoming addicted to it.

REASON #3: Talking about things will provide your teen with a safe place to process emotional fall out of inevitably viewing porn.

Building a trusting relationship with your child is of utmost  importance for their physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological well being. However, just as it is with other threats to a teens safety, we parents cannot control their exposure to dangers completely… BUT we can let them know: 1) where danger exists, 2) where they can turn when in danger, and 3) where they can go if they get damaged by that which is dangerous.

REASON #4: It will increase the likelihood of them having healthy relationships in the future.

Having conversations with them about their emotional responses to various experiences in life will increase a your child’s emotional awareness. This is a key in having a healthy relationship with yourself and others — being aware of what is happening and why emotionally for yourself. Having a conversation about how they feel when they saw porn while watching, where they were when watching it [alone likely or with friends sometimes for the initial exposure], how did they feel afterwards, what questions they have about what they saw…etc. These types of discussions allow someone to identify for themselves how they are reacting to an experience and what to do with those feelings. It is designed to sexual arouse, so if that is a feeling during the viewing, talking about arousal to a screen versus arousal to a living person might be a good conversation to have. If you arouse yourself to a screen enough times, you learn to be more aroused to digital things than physical people with whom you have a relationship with.

*TIP TO PARENTS: View discussions about viewing porn from the lens of you being given the opportunity to explain first about healthy sexual intimacy rather than ONLY explaining the dangers of viewing porn or participating in objectified sexual acts. Both sides of this conversation need to happen for healthy sexual intimacy to be gained by your child.

REASON #5: It will bring to your awareness any insecurities or unprocessed emotional experiences you have with the topic of sexuality. This could result in you becoming a better person than you already are.

Often times parents will avoid conversations on topics that are particularly uncomfortable to them for one reason or another. Just reading this article could make some readers nervous. If this is you, you may want to look into counseling for some help in navigating this discussion for yourself before you counsel or console your child.

I have been a part of too many classes as a youth and an adult that suggest to me that the taboo topics [the one’s we don’t like to talk about] are typically the ones that hold the greatest potential to both hurt and heal us. Hurt, if left unprocessed. Heal, if processed.

WHAT NOW?

Porn is a fantasied and falsified exploration of lust that warps reality and sets a landscape of traumatic experiences for people of all ages and backgrounds. Addiction to this material can ultimately lead to an inability to feel pleasure, inability to establish and maintain meaningful relationships, impulsivity, engaging in risky behaviors, distractibility, depression, anxiety, imprisonment [Ted Bundy], abuse, neglect, and a many others.

Addiction affects ALL aspects of us [physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological…], and recovering will likewise require interventions in all these areas.

—————————

P.S.

Biggest evidence and drive for this post [Ted Bundy’s Final Interview]:

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=last+interview+with+ted+byndy#id=3&vid=39214c8c00316aa3755626be10a05736&action=click

(by the way the average age of porn exposure is about 10yrs old these days…the chance of your teenager being exposure to porn is probably at least ten million and infinity times more than the likelihood of their exposure to marijuana by the same age…though the marijuana statistic is likely creeping up fast). I made this statistic up to merely emphasize the wide spread nature of pornographic materials available to people of all ages, and that I would probably be as equally worried [if not more] about my child viewing porn without any processing conversations about it as I would for them to be smoking “The Devil’s Lettuce”. However, I do not think either of these are morally acceptable or are acts that suggest maturity or any kind of a moral high ground.

%d bloggers like this: